WHY PRETEND?

One of the most lethal aspect of our nurture and upbringing as Nigerians is presence. Many of us are raised to act, form and behave outside of the truth; the realities and how things actually are.

The foremost reason for this is the desire to be accepted, respected and appreciated by the people in and around our lives. When people discover the truth about you, especially if your life is not that rosy, prosperous, enviable and successful, they tend to disrespect you, subjugate you, ridicule you and in fact laugh at you.

As natural humans – sensitive to gossip, slander, mockery and ridicule, we are unwilling to let people know the truth about our lives and situation. We fear they will speak ill of us, embarrass us, disgrace us and treat us with disdain once they know our so-called negative secrets. This is the reason many of us pretend to be something we are not or cover up a lot of issues in our lives.

Perhaps a consequence of nurture, where many of us are raised to be fearful, suspicious and pretentious, we’ve carried the habit of pretending into our future, affecting many spheres of our lives subsequently. Pretending hence has become a natural part of many of us as independent adults.

One of the most injurious practice that takes away happiness, peace, freedom and sound health is pretending. To pretend is to behave as though something is the case when in fact it is not the case.

To pretend is to cover up your reality. It is to cover up your weaknesses, your struggles, your inadequacies, and your lack. It is a consistent effort to behave and act unreal – disconnecting with the realities of your life and living a superficial life perpetually. To pretend is to be fake.

Many of us today have endured very tough and painful experiences in our pasts. Many have been abused by parents, guardians, teachers, caregivers, neighbours, lovers and advantage takers. Today they are scarred, bruised and injured in their souls, the only way to move on is to act and pretend these things never happened to them.

Many also suffered acute poverty growing up, some were so poor even the poor called them poor, and they subsequently hated their lives for it. As youths, young adults and even older adults today, the stigma of that upbringing is so devastating they never want to be seen and categorized as poor ever again, hence they’re willing to pretend they have money even if they are totally broke.  The fear of being poor or being categorized as poor drives them into borrowing without a means to pay back, purchase of many vain things on credit, and sometimes, even stealing.                                                                                                                                      For Audio Version Click here

These people spend so much money not on self-development or improvement, but on packaging their fake lives to appear different.

The consequence of earlier hurts, disappointments, treachery, ridicule, scandal, disgrace and mockery has activated and sustained the need to pretend in the lives of many.

Many of us as victims dismiss our thought on the truth and realities of things, using cognitive distortions to minimize the emotional impact of negative things in our lives.

We most times pretend because we can’t emotionally handle the pain, the embarrassment, the shame and rejection that may follow the discovery of reality and our truth if made known.

Some of us also pretend due to self-rejection.  We have been nurtured to feel inferior, feel unworthy, feel inadequate and less entitled to respect, appreciation and association with others and the society in general. We don’t like who we are so in our minds we create a fake personality we think people will like and accept and we daily dramatize the imagery of that fake person hence, we lose our real self to an imaginary self.

Some of us also pretend to avoid social criticism. We want to receive praise and admiration by retaining certain perceptions, associations and relationships desperately. Many of us live lives we hate smiling along as though all is well.

Many of us may have thrived for some time as pretenders, but living a life that is fake is the strongest power that derails destinies. You see, everything that happens to one in life; the good, the bad and even the ugly, has a role to play in ultimately revealing a life of great glory and success.

You see, life is not meant to be rosy all through, life is not meant to be beautiful all through; you need pain in your life to develop some aspects of your person. You need rejection, you need betrayal, you need lack, you need isolation, you need failure, and you need embarrassment. You also need success, encouragement, motivation, pleasant surprises, unconditional love, admiration, care and attention. You need the good and the bad for you to grow and manifest ultimately your true glory. It’s the blend of both sides of life that balances your capacity to handle your glory when finally revealed.

You need the prison, you need the palace, you need the lack and the surplus, you need the high and the low, you need the companionship and the loneliness, you need the scarcity and the abundance to build your essential character and capacity to sustain and manage greatness in life.

All things are working together for your good as long as you’re walking and working according to your purpose. To take on a pretentious life is to sabotage and derail your journey towards your predestined glory. Your wilderness experience is to toughen you and build your character and genuine appreciation for things and people.

In hard times you know your true friends, you learn how to stand by yourself, you learn how to endure hardship, you learn how to think creatively and solve your own problems yourself. Embracing a fake life in times of crisis is rejecting the lessons essential for your promotion.

Nothing hurts your destiny and your mind like a fake life. Pretending puts your mind on the edge, you’re stressed, tensed, anxious and perturbed when you’re not keeping it real. Why is pretending negative and unhealthy?

If you pretend, you will eventually be discovered by someone and the truth will be out and painfully embarrassing. If you succeed at pretending you will be an unhappy person, if you pretend you will eventually crash and burn out in that desperation to sustain a lie, if you pretend and remain fake for far too long you will lose your originality.

My dear friends, many of us are held back, held up and held down by pretending to people who want you to be a certain way, behave a certain way and live a certain way to make them happy and satisfied.

They want your life to be expressed in a fashion that brings them satisfaction, they really don’t care about you or your happiness; it’s all about you living your life to make them happy. They are not helping you to live right, they are manipulating you to live for them. Dear friend, let today be your freedom day from such persons. Anyone that can’t accept your real self, let them go. Stop pretending to keep and retain manipulators in your life. Open your life up to real people willing to accept your past, your scars, your pains, your struggles, your inadequacies, your weaknesses and bad habits and are willing to truly help you become better in life.

Instead of pretending to be what you’re not, why not find people that will help you truly become what you’re pretending to be. When you stop pretending, real people will show up in your life. Stop injuring your soul and your destiny, be real, fulfill purpose, fulfill destiny.

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Why Do Ladies Keep Going Back To An Ex?

What is it with ladies and going back to exes who cheated or simply went silent and have come back to express a willingness for forgiveness?

Why do you lot fall for the same lies again and again?! You think you will now meet a pope or what?

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TRUE LEADERSHIP.....What Differ The True Leader?

These days it’s apparently almost impossible to succeed all by yourself, all on your own, without help or support from anybody. The world and processes have become more complex and sophisticated, expertise in many things and several areas have become critical for a dream or an ambition to come to pass.

In business, the various units and compartments that make up a whole, capable of delivering expected results can’t all be managed efficiently by a single individual. Different experts in different relevant fields are expected to man and manage the various functioning units of the enterprise for there to be substantial results and accomplishments subsequently.

Consequently, teamwork has become more relevant, imperative and necessary for there to be great results in anything these days. Now, a team is not just a group of relevant experts working together. A team is a group of relevant, united and efficiently integrated experts working together towards the same goal with the required level of passion and enthusiasm.

Finding experts these days that are truly passionate and committed to work – not solely driven by employment rewards can be quite daunting. What is even more difficult than that, is the possibility of blending these various professionals together successfully.

Many young working class Nigerians these days, as I’ve observed, and in my opinion are somewhat arrogant. I need to explain this. For reasons best known to them, when they come together with other people for certain reasons, for the first time,   the first thing they do is compare themselves with everyone else in the group or team to see if they are competitive especially in class, in style, in looks, exposure and/or swag.

They quickly carry out a mental assessment of everyone else and draw conclusions on who they think they are, and how they’ll want to relate or interact with such others based on how they appear, without truly knowing them.

Any member of the team they perceive as superior, they choose to be nasty too; anyone they perceive as inferior, they want to be condescending towards – even without being sure of whom these people truly are. They draw conclusions on perceptions and personal interpretations based on what they assume, not the reality.

So as a team leader or business owner, even before your team members interact, they are already divided in their minds. They’ll have chosen who they will like or dislike, who they would rather work with and who they would not, whose opinion they would counter and who’s they’ll support all based on baseless assumptions, perception and vain contest.

Many judge others based on how they see them, not how they truly are. This simply means every team is born divided not united. Hence, a smart leader cannot take it for granted, the people in his team will work together without any effort to see to it that they will truly work together.

Many books have been authored, many lectures, training, courses and workshops organized to improve the quality of leadership not just in business organizations, but even in sports teams, learning institutions, social movements and governance the world over.

However, I personally think, there is a lopsidedness in how many of these messages and teachings are drafted, hence putting most of the responsibility on the leader, and exonerating or absorbing the followers from required responsibility as followers. Ladies and gentlemen,   I’m convinced, in this life, there are bad followers as well. The success of a team, a project or an agenda is not just about the quality of leadership, it’s also about the quality of followership. When followers are bad, even the best of leaders can fail. A lion leading a pack of sheep may win a battle but the same lion leading a herd of stubborn goats may die in battle. Followers, in fact, have the power to fire a great leader they do not want. Followers do have their own power, simply because they are not robots. They can think, and they have the power to choose to support a vision or frustrate the vision depending on their mentality and personal interest.

Ladies and gentlemen, there are many complex factors that make leading people these days more difficult than ever before. Many leaders today, have to double their efforts in leadership capability to get minimal results. Their threshold for tolerating irresponsibility, selfish excuses, covert disrespect, feigned ignorance, laziness and irritating wiles from their subordinates must be really high for them not to overreact or act in ways unbecoming of a truly seasoned leader.

Leaders are expected to be looked up to and respected by subordinates based on perhaps experience, age, position, and role. But these days, some subordinates, as a matter of fact, compete with their leaders in vain matters of looks, exposure, trendiness, and background. For example, some subordinates from affluent backgrounds, or married to wealthy spouses or with other means of income other than their salaries are somewhat condescending towards superiors who perhaps don’t appear to have what they have materially.

Some subordinates also who perhaps schooled overseas hence have foreign certifications tend to want to challenge the knowledge, experience, and mastery of a seasoned leader who perhaps never schooled overseas.

Some younger subordinates, just conclude their leaders can’t teach them much and don’t know much, simply because that leader lacks much dexterity in the use of social media and modern internet applications.

Yes, being up to date and contemporary is essential for any leader, but being better than a leader in the use of modern technology does not mean that leader can’t lead successfully.

A great leader is not expected to know everything a subordinate knows, a great leader is expected to achieve great results through subordinates and followers who know better than him in their areas of expertise.

Followers or subordinates who mock leaders who are not as good as, or better than them in a field of specialization are ignorant.

Ladies and gentlemen, perhaps today, you are a team head and you’re discouraged and tired of managing immature and ignorant subordinates, perhaps you’re tired of coping with the shenanigans of subordinates who are still lost in arrogant witlessness, perhaps it is time to move from the zone of a positional leader to a true leader. Knowledge is not capacity. You may know about leadership but not have what it takes to lead effectively. It’s like knowing how a car works but not knowing how to drive one. Knowledge is not capacity.

Beyond the knowledge of leadership, perhaps it’s time you get the facts about how to really lead to achieve results.

The good news is, leadership is still ever powerful in driving any people to achieve desired results. But the key does not lie in just how you are as a leader, it’s also about how your crop of followers are.

You can’t lead people successfully based on how you are alone, you lead people successfully based on how they are as well. There are four areas of influence in this life, every subordinate is responding or reacting to. Truth is, they are not reacting to you; they are reacting to life based on these influences. These are; their temperaments – their natural tendencies. Their nurture – that is their upbringing. Their exposure; the environment where they were raised and where they live.  And lastly, the generation they belong to. Are they the generation X, are the millennials, are they generation Z subordinates of employees.

Mastering them within these complex of influence would help you lead them better and not react to them in despair, discouragement and frustration. A true leader wouldn’t take things personal; understand these subordinates and deal with them as they are, not as you wish they were. Come on, be a true leader, go ahead and lead for greater results, best of luck.

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WHY IT’S NOT WORKING

Year in year out, many people have been encouraged, inspired, trained, educated, informed and guided on how to become successful in life but sadly, up on till now, they have little or nothing to show for it.

Many people today ought to have become very comfortable, accomplished and happy in many areas of their lives but it’s just not working. All they’ve been exposed to in knowledge, admonition, information and even secrets have failed to profit them as these valuable exposures have found no potent place in their hearts and lives.

Many today are struggling with what other people are succeeding at even in the same environment and under similar circumstances. For lack of a logical explanation for their conditions, the buck has been passed to God, as the one who chooses to prosper one and relegate another. Without a doubt, God rules in the affairs of men but if you follow his laid down principles for success, I promise it will not be denied you.

If you’re willing to go by the rules and obey the laws for a particular kind of success, it shall be delivered to you unquestionably.

Why are people succeeding at what you’re struggling with my dear friend? When will you be more comfortable, more progressive, more accomplished, richer, happier and more fulfilled? When will you apprehend all that you’re chasing? When will you achieve your dreams and goals in life?

Many people today have nothing impressive to show for their lives, not because they are failing but because of doubt. Doubt has killed more dreams in this life than failure ever will.

In language, failure is the opposite of success, but in the play of life, failure is an integral part of success. You can’t really succeed in life without failing. In the play of life, the real opposite of success is doubt.

People don’t succeed in life because of doubt. They allow that feeling of uncertainty to creep in, especially when going through a phase of failure and then they give up. Doubt is the killer of dreams, goals, ambition and all possibilities, not failure. The role of failure is to teach you how not to do things, it’s not meant to stop you. Doubt is what stops you.

Many of us due to strong attachments to our comfort zones embrace doubt with all our might. No matter what you’re told, no matter what you hear, no matter how logical, realistic and possible it is, some of us will engage doubt in order to make an excuse to remain in our comfort zone. In fact we go the extra mile to create absurd excuses why fantastic plans won’t work for us.

I’ve heard some people make excuses such as “I’m not lucky”, they’ll tell you even if others succeed at it, if they try they’ll fail because they’re not lucky by nature; how absurd.

Doubt is simply the refusal to be convinced. If you’re not convinced, you can’t act. If you don’t act you can’t progress, if you don’t progress you can’t achieve anything. Perhaps, doubt is your number one captor in this life.

When you lack conviction you lack faith, when you lack faith you’ll operate in unbelief, if you operate in unbelief, life will not release anything but failure to you.

Even the spirit realm has no regard for doubters. It takes faith and conviction to get the supernatural to work along with you.

All great things you own, see and admire exist because their inventors were not doubters. Even when they were criticized, mocked, restricted and sometimes imprisoned based on their conviction, they didn’t doubt. Despite their very many and frequent failures, their belief in their conviction kept them going hence incidences of failure had no power to stop their dreams.

The computer, the airplanes, electricity, mobile phones, satellite television, space shuttle, rockets, robots and artificial intelligence you have are at your disposal today because the inventors refused doubt, they held on to their convictions no matter how outlandish and ridiculous it sounded to everyone else.

Why are things not working as you expect my dear friend, is it a case of doubt?

Progress, achievements and great accomplishments manifest when the vision carrier works and walks in faith. You can’t become anything significant if you’re always in doubt. You’ll sink when others are floating if you operate in doubt.

Think with me this morning and just look at your life, is this all you’re about? Are you at your best? Are you subjugating your true potentials? Can you be better than this? Can you achieve more than this? Can you be more successful than this?

Can your life be more comfortable, peaceful and progressive? Are you willing to endure hardship, failure, and setbacks just to be the best that you can? Do you allow temporary setbacks, disappointments and obstacles make you embrace doubt? Have you lost faith in yourself and your true possibilities?

The books you read, the stories you were told, the seminars you attended, the secrets you read up online, the teachings you’ve received, where are the fruits – the results and proof you received them, believed them and practiced them?

Where are your results? Many of us are distressed today and full of lamentations. We are unhappy about our struggles and pains, our lacks and backwardness, we’re focused on our anxieties, fears and doubts, we have indulged in excessive religiosity, doctrines and rituals emptied of power, true faith and spirituality.

We don’t know how to make things work for us hence have relinquished our true potentials and future possibilities – trusting other people, institutions, and structures to deliver greatness to us cheaply.

When you believe in something, your mind, soul and spirit should remain committed to it until it’s done. What is that one thing you are committed to today that will make your life great and glorious?

When you believe in something you’re sold out to it, you give up other pleasures and fun things to devote enough time to your commitment.

Being the best at anything is not just about knowledge and practice but about commitment and devotedness.

The difference between the super successful and the average in the same industry or profession is commitment. No matter how gifted or talented you are, the man with the commitment will defeat you any day any time.

So here we are, a new beginning, a new year, think through your past and all the great things you gave up on because you had doubts- the relationship, the business, the skill, the project, the investment and all other great opportunities you let pass you by because you doubted.

How better has doubt made you today? The thing you refused to do five years ago, three years ago; even last year because you were not convinced, what today is the reward for not doing it? If you keep doubting everything, hence don’t do anything, how will your future become better?

Dear friend, you must begin to believe and do great things this year. Nothing will ever be equal and there will never be a perfect condition, so the best time to start anything is today, as you will never have a sure time. Being sure is a mirage. Don’t be afraid of mistakes, don’t be afraid to learn from failing, it’s all part of your journey to greatness. Don’t allow doubt keep you as a prisoner of stagnation and mediocrity, it’s time to act despite all uncertainties. It’s time for you to believe. When you believe, there will be miracles. In this life seeing is not believing, believing is seeing. Go and get your results!

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Folorunsho Alakija reveal that Without A University Degree, I Became A Billionaire

One of the richest women in Africa, Folorunso Alakija has made a revelation about her life that not so many people know of. According to the billionaire, she was able to achieve greatness in life even without a University degree.

Folorunso Alakija took to Instagram to share this piece and she also opened up that she is the 8th child in her family of about 52 children.

She wrote:

"I would like to encourage you on my encounter with the Glory of God.

It happened almost 27 years ago when I gave my life to Christ at the age of 40 and my life has not been the same ever since, I pray your life too, will experience a total turn around.

I was born almost 67 years ago, into a large and illustrious polygamous Muslim family as number 8 out of 52 children through a father who had 8 wives.

Back then large families were common, but what was unusual was that I was one of the very first few Nigerian children who left it’s shores to go and study abroad at such a tender age of 7.

Even at that age, I knew I could not afford to let my family down cause I was seen as an ambassador.

My desire was to study law but my Daddy did not believe in investing in girls at that time.

Today, I have no university degree, but God’s glory lifted me up and I have received numerous Honorary Doctorate Degrees at home and abroad.

All of what you now see today has taken almost two and a half decades, so I am not an overnight success. On the contrary. Through God’s grace, I am a blood bought totally forgiven, absolutely redeemed, heaven bound child of God.

I have had to make sacrifices like everyone else, faced challenges but never given up.

I have not compromised myself, my values or my faith.

GLORY BE TO GOD."

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EMOTIONAL LIFE IN DAILY HUMAN RACE

              "What you are emotionally is what you are'' may be too strong a statement to be true,but it's close . We are all such emotional creatures that our emotions can influence every area of lives - for good or bad. I have noticed that whenever our emotions conflict for a length of time with any other area of our being, they eventually triumph.
         Consider the power of emotion to influence the other three most important area of life ---mind, will, and body. No matter how intelligent a person is, when he get emotionally upset he cannot think in an orderly manner. Emotions can disrupt his concentration and stifle his creativity.some people's mind  are totally dominated by their emotions.
           Everyone has had the experience of letting their emotions impair  their judgment.  How often have you asked, "why did i buy house, car, dress e.t.c?'' you know better, but you did it in anyway. you made an emotional decision. I wish i had a money for all my people that asked, ''Why did i marry her? We have nothing in common .'' Now can see why i said all  emotionally made decisions are bad decisions. The good life is one in which your mind controls your emotions, never  vice versa.
             The same, however, is true of your will.i don't care how strong-willed you are, if conflicts between your will and your emotions lasts long enough, you emotions will win. That's why the BIBLE tells us to ''flee youthful lusts'' and sins. our emotions are particularly powerful between the ages of fourteen and twenty-four. that is why the devil uses society, education,drugs, friends and amusements on our young people during those years. He knows how vulnerable they are to making bad life-time decisions when they are most emotionally combustible.
               Physically it is the same.doctors tell us that 65-80 percent of all illnesses are emotionally induced. what do they mean by that? very simply, most people in our country ruin and break down their health long before necessary by indulging bad emotions for long period of time. Good emotions seem to have a healthful effects on; bad emotions destroy us. The BIBLE says, ''A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the  bones [ prov.17: 22,NIV].
          Throughout the BIBLE there are literally hundreds of illustrations of the harmful effects of fear and anger. And there are hundreds of biblical admonitions to ''fear not'' '' let not your heart be troubled'' and '' cease from anger''. God knew that fear and anger feed on all mankind, working relentlessly toward our destruction or limiting our potential. Additionally, the BIBLE offers many antidotes to those two emotional cripplers.

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MAKE A EFFORT

 Every now and again we hear, read and see people who have just achieved a new level of success in life. We celebrate them, talk about their achievements and at times get inspired and motivated by their accomplishments and new records. These successful people become notable in the society and communities; we all want to hear them speak; how they achieved what they achieved and see if we can learn a thing or two from them. They become celebrities and we all want to be like them in a way or the other, but may I say to you this morning that as much as we delight in these achievers and one day hope to be like them, a common factor to all these achievers is hard work. Not just work, hard work. No body accomplishes any worthwhile thing by regular work. Any great achievement is amenable to hard-work. Not ease, convenience, pleasure, in fact at times not fun. Many times it may require you doing something you don’t find easy or fun just for you to succeed in life. Many today are of the opinion if they do their jobs well, they will be successful. I wouldn’t disagree with this view depending on your definition of success. If it’s about affording the basic needs of life, like food, clothing, shelter, education, entertainment and all that, it’s possible. But for you to achieve anything phenomenal, you can’t afford to work normally or as usual. You can’t work like everyone else if you want to stand out from everyone else. Life is structured in a way that only a few have room at the top - the few who can do more and go further than the rest. That’s why you can never have more directors than managers in any organization; you can never have more managers than supervisors. Always; the room at the top is for fewer outstanding performers and achievers, not regular everyday working people, human capital structure and hierarchy is always a pyramid; it’s triangular – narrow at the to Many of us today keep working normally, doing what is expected and taking our jobs seriously. This sure is good, but only good enough for you to be valued and appreciated by your employer. You will be cherished and you’ll enjoy regular pay increase and promotion if there is room at your top. However, apprehending power, prestige and position in any good company does not come by working normally, it comes by outstanding work, outstanding result and impact; your work, your results and value contribution must stand out amongst that of other employees and contemporaries. The quality of what you do must be superior to others; the volume of what you do must be higher than others and your speed of delivery must be superior to that of others. All these require you working harder than everyone else. To move quickly ahead everyone else, you must work harder than everyone else. Many lately have tried to interpret working smart as working less; working smart is not working less; absolutely no, working smart simply means getting more done in a shorter period of time. Working smart is not tantamount to being lazy or laid back or lackadaisical. Many also have tried to make up for hard work with talent, being talented is really good, it makes you shine, but talent would only look good on you if you’re not hard working, it wouldn’t look good on the business; the value of your talent to the business is in consistent regular application of it to your task and assignments. Your talent must find expression through your work not just for show off. Nothing draws attention to you in your work place more than being hard working. Hard work is the power that ignites and makes real all visions, dreams, talent and even certificates. No matter your qualification, if you’re lazy, it’s useless to your employer, what you know doesn’t matter if your employer can’t benefit from it because you’re not bringing it to bear on the quality and quantity of your work. Hard work; as said earlier comes in levels, you can work for survival and you can also work for greatness. Regular people work for survival, super stars work for greatness. But I must say with our current socio-economic scenario in the country today, it is wisdom to work for greatness because regular people today make up the majority of those who can’t make ends meet. If you are a dreamer, your level of work must transcend survival. A dreamer is one involved in the task of creating a pattern in life, a new dimension to things and a fresh social order. It is not a piece of cake, it is not for common regular people, it is for the few unusual minds willing to pay the price and dare all they need to. Too many dreamers today never get started not because they don’t know what to do or lack the courage but simply because they can’t do the work; they can’t embrace the labour it requires. Hard work can be compared and is measurable by output and quality per season. What you do; the efficiency, effectiveness, quality and speed can be compared with that of your contemporaries. If you want to be ahead of the rest you must be willing to do more than the rest.  Becoming an outstanding person or an achiever requires you working hard on your job and working hard on yourself. You see, your competence and abilities will definitely impact the quality and speed of your output. What you know, your skills and abilities will tell on your speed and quality. You must be ready to work hard on you, if your work quality would improve. Improve your mind, improve your skills, increase your knowledge and improve your speed. The extra you put in more than ordinary people makes you extra ordinary. To be a rare employee you can’t to what mere employees do. All great achievements and successes are predicated on long periods of hard work in a single period towards a given end. You don’t just run up and down being busy; you can actually be busy and achieve nothing worthwhile at the end of the day if your approach to hard work is not systematic. The harder you work, the more you’re favored by your employers. Dear friend, plan to work hard today, organize your work, avoid distractions, avoid time wasting, and unnecessary conversations, place a high premium on every task you’re given; don’t treat it anyhow, socialize on your terms and work harder than the rest. Dear friend, make this effort.

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DEALING WITH DIFFICULTIES

I presume there are a number of us today going through some difficult times. We are probably overwhelmed and perplexed by situations and circumstances that tend to stress us, bother us and constrain us. We are facing situations we lack the capacity and ability to easily surmount, hence the worries, anxiety and tension.

Some of us are facing financial difficulties, relationship difficulties, marital difficulties, academic difficulties, business, career, family and even health challenges. We have done all we can but it appears the problems wouldn’t just go away.

We look around us and see no solution or even hope in sight. All we’ve tried to do to overcome appears to be failing, helpers we assumed would show up and help us have all disappointed us. We are perhaps right now at that point of giving up and believing except God helps us.

Of course nobody wants to be stressed up in life. We want a peaceful, enjoyable and perpetually comfortable life. A peaceful home, a happy marriage, a rewarding career, a profitable business, sound health, great kids and of course, a lot of money. When any of these areas come under pressure or attack, we become worried and uncomfortable, this is because hardship and difficulties come with a lot of pain. This pain can either be physical, emotional or psychological. Difficulties and troubles come with pain, that’s basically why we don’t want difficulties in our lives.

Ladies and gentlemen, do you know pain, as a by-product of difficulty, is present and active in this world because it is very essential for the growth, advancement and development of humanity?

Intense discomfort is the trigger for creativity. As mankind, we are creative agents by nature, that’s what makes us superior to other creatures. We can create and build, other creatures cannot. The best of any other creature is mild intelligence, not creativity. Creative tendencies is the exclusive of human beings.

The commercial aspect of our world system is also predicated on our ability to create solutions to avert difficulties and pain. We are to create solutions to different human discomfort and challenges and in exchange earn rewards. When you’re able to create a solution to a human problem, a system problem or an earth challenge, humanity is bound to reward you for the solution you’ve birthed and that’s how you earn your living in life.                                                                         

Ladies and gentlemen, the world we live in is purely and essentially about problems and man’s creative ability to solve these problems. The nature of this world has difficulties inherent within its system. Wishing away problems from this world is tantamount to wishing away the world itself, it is impossible. A trouble free world questions the need for mankind’s existence and ruler-ship. Without trouble, potential problems and managerial requirement, mankind would have no major purpose or relevance here on earth.

The purpose of humanity today is to manage, improve and advance the world and its subsystems. Your purpose as an individual is to contribute your quota in solving or growing an area or aspect of the world’s sub system and get rewarded for it.

Without problems there would be no need for solutions, without the need for solutions, enterprises and companies wouldn’t exist, without businesses, there would be no employment, without employment, there would be no orderly means of making a living, without order, mankind will subsequently have to fight and survive like mere beasts in the jungle.

As mankind, we are naturally laid back. We would rather just be without any thinking or labour. We love comfort, we love pleasure, we love to relax and our inertia is a natural disposition.

The pain that comes with trouble and difficulties however, forces us out of this state of being and triggers our creativity, intelligence, diligence, hard work and persistence until solution is created. When you sell these solutions you earn money to address most of your difficulties. Pain pushes us to birth creativity and inventions for commercial purposes.

Ladies and gentlemen, every problem in this life has a solution, if there is no solution, it is not categorised as a problem; it is called nature. 24 hours a day is not a problem because we can’t do anything to increase or reduce it, hence we accept it. Anything you can do nothing about is not a problem.

If you really want to rise up to your stature and place as a real human – a real man or a real woman, you can’t bow or submit to the difficulties in this life. It is time to start creating and commercialising solutions to our various difficulties in life.

Difficulties come to grow you, make you reason, make you work hard, make you think deep, make you learn more, make you creative and make you productive. To bow to any difficulty is to give up on your growth, creativity, relevance and opportunity to create wealth in this life. Without difficulties there can’t be solutions to sell and make money. Challenges or battles of life are business opportunities. If you really want a life of great wealth, glory and greatness, the secret is in the number of troubles you’re able to create solutions for, not in ease, bliss and comfort.

See every trouble as an advantage to birth your own business. Turn every trouble into a business advantage, your high in life wouldn’t be so glorious if your low isn’t deep enough to make you birth a great solution. The magnitude of your difficulty is a reflection of the brightness of your coming glory.

Think of all the difficult people and situations in your life today, resolve to confront every relevant challenge with a glorious end in mind.

Resolve today not to panic anymore, take in a deep breath and start to think creatively about various difficulties. Process and consider how to commercialise the solution to a common problem.

There is more in you than that which is challenging or troubling this country and the world at large. In this world you will face many sorrows and difficulties, but be of good cheer because an overcomer lives within you.

Resolve to create and commercialise solutions and in a short while, your wealth will appear. Don’t bow to difficulties, commercialise them.

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Olumide Popoola – I bring wild, rich imagination to life

Popoola

Olumide Popoola is a London-based Nigerian German writer and speaker who presents internationally. Her novella, This Is Not About Sadness, was published by Unrast Verlag in 2010. Her play Also by Mail was published in 2013 by and the short story Collection Breach, which she co-authored with Annie Holmes, in 2016 by Peirene Press. Her full-length novel When We Speak of Nothing was published in the UK and Nigeria in 2017…

Her publications also include critical essays, often on practice-led research and the novel, Hybrid Pieces And Poetry.
Olumide holds a PhD in Creative Writing, a MA in Creative Writing and a BSc in Ayurvedic Medicine and lectures in Creative Writing. In 2004 she won the May Ayim Award in the poetry category. She has received grants, fellowships and residencies from UEL, Djerassi, Künstlerdorf Schöppingen and Hedgebrook, amongst others. In this interview with GuardianWoman, she shares her thoughts on her new novel When We Speak of Nothing.

What interesting stories about your background led you to become a writer? 
I always wanted to be a writer from when I learned writing and composed little stories from then. I don’t know that it is my background that led me to writing, more an active imagination. I spent a few years with my German grandmother who was living in a small village, actually not even inside that village. It was a little isolated. Maybe the absence of a lot of school friends led to reading ferociously, which then spurred my imagination…

What moment did you decide that you were going to become a writer? 
I was a child with a wild and rich imagination. I think when I realised that you could construct stories, put them together yourself, I knew that that is what I wanted to do also.

What inspires your kind of story? 
The people around me – recently also ‘place’. Two of my books, including When We Speak of Nothing, are set in London. One is set a few streets from where I live, When We Speak of Nothing is set around the area I worked in for a long time, as well as Port Harcourt. I’m interested in the small, hidden away stories. What happens in those side streets that don’t get mainstream attention. London fascinates me like any large city would but I think I end up writing about London because I have been living here for quite a while. Writing about it is both a making sense and a claiming my space here. As an outsider, someone who moved here, who is familiar yet also has other reference points.

Tell us about your recent project, When We Speak of Nothing. 
It started as an exploration into young black and brown men in inner city London. I was working in a community centre with a youth programme at the time, and saw a lot of young men come and go. I was intrigued by their friendships, the way they were intimate with each other (as friends) in a different way than the young women were. I also wanted to learn about the Niger Delta so I created a reason to go there for research. This formed the basic idea about the novel. Then the London (and UK) riots happened and all of a sudden I had this dual narrative with flames from gas flaring in the Niger Delta, and flames from burnt cars and buildings during the London riots. Both main characters witnesses to one side of it, far away from each other, their friendship straining.

The main characters in the book, Karl and Abubakar, what makes them special? Despite their background differences, what makes them resonate so much with the readers? 
I think it’s their complexity. They are lovable guys, fun and interesting, with good manners, most of the times. Sometimes they are not so nice, sometimes they are angry or run away or get involved when they shouldn’t have. They do right and wrong things but ultimately they are there for each other. They know how to be friends, even if some learning has to be done along the way. I think we can all relate to being imperfect but trying our best. The feedback I get mostly is that the determination to remain friends, to be there for each other is the most moving for readers.

Did you try to build these characters to mirror people and places that you’ve experienced? 
I wanted to capture a certain inner city London youth. And I absolutely wanted to capture the King’s Cross area of London, but the forgotten parts where people without much money live, and the Niger Delta (very small parts of it). The characters aren’t based on any real people, more on ideas inspired by young people I’ve met. The character of Nakale, who is an activist in the Niger Delta, is inspired by an activist who took me around the area but he is nothing at all like Nakale. The only thing they have in common is that they’re both completely dedicated, and very knowledgeable.

What challenges did you go through while writing the book? 
I run into a hairy situation on my travel through the Niger Delta which made it into the book as something Karl experiences. When I was taking a picture of gas flaring just behind a village (actually almost inside the village) I was standing on a bridge, another activist on an okada, waiting for me. All of a sudden, we found ourselves surrounded by a growing number of young local men who were shouting ridiculous sums of money I should pay for my release. I waited patiently, my activist friend had summoned me to sit behind him on the motorcycle and not get off again, he was trying to negotiate. He was holding my hand, apologising for the behaviour of these young men, who were part of his local community.

After 45 minutes in the sweltering sun and a lot of shouting on their side I lost my cool and gave them a piece of my mind. That albeit being light skinned and living in Europe had the right to be there and find out about my country. That I wasn’t sure what they were trying to do, what point they were trying to make but I was not a journalist selling any pictures (which is what they had claimed). I showed them my student card (I was doing my PhD at that time). They were shocked, as was my friend. I think I gave them £20 – just because – and we drove off while they were still trying to decide whether to kidnap me or not.

What inspired you to write it? 
It started with learning more about the Niger Delta and the recession in the UK.
Where can we buy or see it? (* include Nigeria, American, European and any other relevant links. Free, free promotions or prices can be included)? The book is available for purchase on Cassava Republic Press website, or the Cassava Republic Bookshop in Abuja and any other major bookshop in Nigeria and the U.K.

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THE IRON LAW OF LIFE.

The iron law of life! Hmm, the most critical law in this life is the law of means. This is the iron law of life. Means is simply the ability to do, acquire or achieve something.

Nothing is free in this life, absolutely nothing. Everything you currently own, have and enjoy is either borrowed or purchased. Even your very life – the breath you take in everyday is borrowed. You can’t choose how long to live or when to die, when it is time, the one who borrowed you the life will come for it. The almighty owns your life.

A mindset that wants something for nothing will hardly deliver greatness to the owner. Anything you want in life, you must be willing to give or exchange something for it, either tangible or intangible.

Even if now you can recall something you believe you got for free, this iron law of life expects that you should also pass on the good or benefit to someone else, if you do not extend similar gift, help or assistance you’ve received to other people, you will eventually lose the benefits and proceeds from that help you received.

In most religions, blood pays for the rights to salvation, grace, forgiveness, blessings and benefits, this blood obviously belongs to a person or an animal, in this life; nothing is free.

If you have any respect for this iron law, you clearly understand it, and believe it works, the good news is, you can actually have ANYTHING you want simply by offering, giving or sacrificing what it requires to have it. There’s a price tag on everything in this life, either tangible or intangible. If you can pay the right price, you can absolutely have anything you want in this life.

The reason many of us are in lack and live less than glowing lives is because we don’t want to pay any price or the required price for that which we need or want in this life.

In summary, the whole world in matters of success, progress and prosperity is governed by this iron law of exchange. You give something to get much more, you sow something to reap much more, if you want anything in this life, you must give up something, sacrifice the right thing for that which you want to find its way into your life.

Now, listen, NO ONE came into this world with nothing to give in exchange for something you want. The creator gave all of us the most valuable resource that you can exchange for anything you want in life, that resource is TIME. Time is money, time is extremely valuable, time is powerful. Time is the greatest resource in life. If you want anything but have no time, I’m afraid you can’t have it. Your time is your life. The only resource that is irrecoverable when you’ve lost it in this life is time.

Dear friend, what do you want in this life? If you give time to it, if you sacrifice the right amount of time, you can have it. Let me break it down

Your income today is a reflection of how much time you’ve exchanged for skill acquisition, capacity development and knowledge. It is a reflection of how much time you exchanged in building yourself to the point of your current value in the market place and with an employer. It is a reflection of how much time you invested in building and developing your natural and God given talents.

Your employer is not paying you based on your personal needs, your salary is based on your worth and value to your employer. If your role and capacity is very important to your employer, you’ll naturally be paid more, if however it is not so valuable, in that many people can do what you do and even do it better, and they’re willing to be paid less, you can’t earn much with your current value or worth.

Time is the currency you exchange for personal improvement and self-value appreciation. Whatever your job type or description is, choose to be the best in your company, choose to be the best in your industry, choose to be the  best in your state, choose to be the best in Nigeria? Are you world class in your capacities and abilities? The best people in their arts and crafts and professions are the highest paid in the world. For them to have emerged the best, so much time have been sacrificed and exchanged for improvement and good growth in ability, skills, performance and knowledge. The difference between the best in any profession, vocation or venture and the average or mediocre is simply the amount of time exchanged to improve performance, ability, capacity and knowledge.

When you hear the highest paid, the highest paid, it simply implies the current best in that field, vocation or skill.

Dear friend, you have the means to acquire anything you want in life simply by exchanging the required time for it.

This concept, hence nullifies the belief that hard work alone makes you rich. Of course you need to work hard but how you’re working hard and what you’re working hard at, is what is more important.

Just step back in your mind today and visualize that which you’re working hard on today. That which you are exchanging your time for every morning, noon and night, please how profitable or rewarding is it eventually?

What are you exchanging your precious time for today?

When you know why you’re working and what you’re working for, where you work will of course matter. In this life, your location largely determines your allocation.

My dear friend, what do you want in life? The reason you’ll follow the majority and popular opinion about career, employment or business is because you don’t really know what you want, hence you don’t know what price to pay or even where to pay it.

Working hard with the sole aim of becoming rich does not make good sense, it is actually an illusion because being rich is a consequence, not a goal.

Dear friend, what do you want in your future? What you want will determine what you give time to, what you exchange your precious time for.

Knowing the time price for the future you want will help you know how much time you need to give up for that future desire. Knowing how much you need to earn, will guide you in how much work you need to carry out on yourself, you would need to know the competence and productivity required to acquire all that you want in life.

Dear friend, the most precious resource in this life is time, exchange it for the necessary ability, capacity, skills, network, knowledge, exposure, training and mastery you need to be able to earn the things you want in your future.

If where you work, what you sell, the business you own, your skills and abilities today cannot deliver the kind of future you’re picturing in your mind, you know you’re not there yet and you need to work harder on yourself.

The iron law of life is to give your most precious resource which is time to build yourself up, become extremely valuable to attract all you desire in your future and you will get it. Stop the hustle, start building you, Start now.

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WHAT ARE YOUR REAL PRIORITIES.

You see, many of us are trying real hard. We sincerely desire good success.

Something in us keeps urging us to do more and go further as we are definitely better than where, and how we are currently. We can be happier, richer, wealthier; healthier, we can definitely achieve more, control more, secure more freedom, impact more and live our dream life.

Yes we know we can, and we’re working really hard despite all odds, but it appears the more we make the effort, the more difficult things become and the further away whatever we’re chasing appears to soar.

Yes, it’s true many of us are trying really hard, so how come things are not just falling into place like they should? Why are things not gelling? What exactly is missing, what are we not doing right?

Many of us have decided to stop the blame game and take responsibility, still the struggle persists? In fact the bad situation is escalating, So what next now?

Ladies and gentlemen, real success is not accidental, if you accidentally succeed at anything, you can’t sustain the success.  Real success comes through proper understanding of success rules and principles and their correct application.

For you to succeed, retain, maintain and sustain the success you must know the rules of the game.

A critical rule that accelerates success and guarantees its sustenance is the principle of prioritisation. To forge ahead in life and record back to back success you must be able to prioritise very well.

Many of us fail at many things not because we lack the knowledge or capacity, but because we are into so many things at the same time. This approach naturally weakens our effectiveness and impact across board. When you spread your energy into multiple tasks and pursuits at the same time, the individual quality potential of each task is diminished in results. For example, back in your school days, when you have one paper in a day during exams, you’re likely going to do better at that paper than when you have three papers in a day. Nothing is more powerful for success than a laser focused concentration on a single task per time till it’s done.

The proper approach to achieving excellent success at any given task is the ability to focus all your energy on carrying out that one task at that time. I’ve come to realise that the concept of multitasking has its downsides at times. Yes, multitasking is about getting more done in a shorter period of time but how well done are we talking about?

If you really want to begin to see good results in your life, you must be more effective, to become more effective you must concentrate on individual tasks, and for you to really concentrate, you must prioritise.

To prioritise is to arrange your goals, tasks and activities in an order of importance. How do you measure their importance? You measure their importance by evaluating the consequence of carrying out the task at that time or not. The value of every task, job, activity or responsibility is measured within the context of consequence. You’re paid more than your subordinates based on the consequence of succeeding or failing at your task as a senior.

If you want to start seeing better results on your job, career or business, you must prioritise.

You must possess an organised method of thinking that will help you prioritise through an objective evaluation of consequences and outcomes.

Of course we all have many things to do every day, every week, every month and even every year. How do you rank and rate all these activities? Is it according to consequences or as you like?

Anything you do must be judged as important or not, from the perspective of implication. Many of us, unfortunately don’t find good success because we rank our tasks and goals based on the following:

1. The people in our lives. We attach value to our numerous activities based on our desire to impress and not offend the people we cherish, love and want in our lives. This is a main reason many are still struggling without significant results to show for so much work.

2. It is easier. Many of us always want to settle for tasks and activities that are somewhat easier. We are reluctant in handling or tackling tedious or painstaking tasks, we do the easy ones first even if it is not the most important. It is hard to objectively prioritise if we always prefer easier tasks.

3. It is more fun. Many of us also rank tasks in order of how much fun we derive from each task. So we carry out the more fun activities first, even if the boring ones are the most important. You can spend several hours watching football but can’t invest half that time reading a good book that can transform your life and income. For many, football is more fun than reading, even though reading great books will make you richer and more valuable except you’re in the business of football. This is a major problem impeding the ability to deliver great results in good time.

4. Instant gratification. – The reason many of us are still struggling today is because we ignored some very important activities we ought to have carried out a long time ago because the benefit was not instant. We wanted to benefit immediately, that’s why many of us fall victim of Ponzi schemes and get rich quick traps.

A business you should have invested in, properties you should have purchased, training you should have attended, skills you should have mastered, business ventures you should have embarked on about five years or ten years ago that should have paid off in today’s recession, you did not because, today looked very far away five years ago, then, you wanted something instant, now, today has finally dawned, you have nothing major or important to show.

Even now, you’re offered so many opportunities for development, growth, and success for a better and secured future, but because you think five years is too long, you’re still ignoring, as today crept up on you and you have not much to show from yesterday, please don’t let another five years creep up on you and you still have nothing, thanks to your instant gratification way of thinking.

Ladies and gentlemen, if there is anything you need to do, do it because it is important, relevant and the consequence is also important.

Resolve today to stop going for the easy stuff first, stop going for the fun stuff first, stop gong for the convenient stuff first, go for the most important stuff first.

The reason you work so hard, get tired yet achieve little is because you’re doing too many stuff at the same time and you’re not giving each task your best. Your energy is shared, your time is shared and your attention is spread across all these important tasks; you can’t give each one your best like this.

A laser focused approach to tasks that deliver results is such that has your mind, your soul and energy all in it at once.

To really succeed, prioritise what is important always, you will see the difference.

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BECOMING A GREAT LEADER

Any significant progress in history occurred because someone decided to take the lead and influence others to pursue an agenda, resist an order or transform a process. The social nature of mankind is to always have a leader – one person that will take the lead and others would follow.  For any great success to occur, leadership is essential.

I believe there are so many issues in our lives, and societies many aren’t comfortable with and we’d very much want to see drastic improvements. But in our small corners and conservative worlds, we believe we are too insignificant to influence or drive a major change. We look at ourselves and feel too small and insignificant to make any significant impact.

You’ll agree with me there are some Nigerians the rest of us hold responsible for everything that goes wrong or right in this country. They are popularly referred to as our leaders. In counting, they are probably less than a hundred but every issue bothering on our nationhood, the remaining 190 million of us hold these less than 100 people responsible. We also popularly believe they are the most influential.

Think with me this morning, how many of these very influential national leaders were born with the positions and titles and powers they hold today? How many of them even come from influential or privilege backgrounds? How many of them were born famous, popular or prominent? How many of them inherited the power, authority, name and positions they hold today from their parents? Probably none, or extremely few.

To console ourselves and justify our insignificance, many of us choose to believe these powerful leaders must have indulged in very ominous and mean dealings to become powerful and influential, it is not always the case my friend, many of them worked very hard to earn their positions of leadership and great influence.

This is not to justify corruption or mismanagement, but I assure you even the very corrupt leaders being exposed and arrested today worked very hard to get to that position where they eventually had access to our common wealth to steal it. They didn’t just stroll in there.

Today, I’ll sincerely want to admonish the younger generation to quit complaining and judging and make up their minds to take over leadership through hard work so as to subsequently take on key positions and fix things.

Too many young people complain bitterly about things not working well, yet they lack the will to work very hard, take over as leaders and manage the country better. Many forty year olds in Nigeria today don’t even have a copy of the Nigerian constitution. Very few can correctly sing the second stanza of the national anthem and many hardly study the yearly appropriation and fiscal plan. They have no idea what governance is all about, they do not understand public service, citizenship or nation building; they have no idea about public leadership, or true knowledge of our history, they don’t understand governance or contemporary politics.

Many of the youth want the current leaders out of the way today yet have refused to develop their own capacities to effectively take over as leaders. Oh, it’s so easy to criticise but if you’re appointed the governor of your own state today, how will your first 100 days in office look like? What will be your dominant thought? How to develop the state or how to quickly enrich yourself too? Let your conscience judge.

Ladies and gentlemen, all over the world, public leadership is not just handed over to the next generation, it is earned by younger people who work hard, have the knowledge, have developed capacity and are deserving of these sensitive public leadership positions.

As a career coach I’m frequently exposed to young people in their thirties and forties who lack the capacity to lead a team of just six people in their place of employment. They lack the discipline, maturity, humility and capacity to achieve results through just six people, yet they are experts at criticizing, judging and condemning every leader in every nation all over the world.

Ladies and gentlemen, all the young people, I believe it is time for your shift. It is time you shift from being a critique to a builder. It is time you take the lead. It is time you also decide to do the work and earn the role of influence and power to make happen the change you desire to see.

How do you do this, how do you start; from where do you start?  Permit me to share with you today, six factors to consider and apply in order to become a great leader. I believe we all know leadership is not just occupying a position of power or authority, leadership is the ability to influence people. To successfully influence others and make them buy into your vision and support your ambition, diligently harken to, consider and apply the following traits:

1. Set your PRIORITIES – great leaders don’t live regular lives. They don’t live like everyday people. Great leaders set their priorities in life. They decide that one thing they want to do and commit at least 80% of their day to doing it. Great leaders give up pleasure for purpose and priorities. Their time is extremely valuable and they dedicate themselves to a course until they become distinguished as a master in that field of focus. To be a great leader, set your priorities.

2. CREATING IDENTITY. Great leaders don’t flock with the crowd. They create a different, unique and compelling identity for themselves using different but appealing instruments. Excellence in certain skills, capacities, abilities or achievements. Great leaders are known for being excellent at something. Fela Anikulapo Kuti, Music, Wole Soyinka, Literature, Gani Fawhennmi Lawyer/ Human right activist, E.A. Adeboye Religion. Great leaders distinguish themselves and create compelling identity through excellent performance at something. By so doing, they earn the credentials for great influence.

3. INCLUDING OTHERS. Great leaders are fantastic salesmen. They do not keep their dreams or ambition to themselves. Their everyday task is to include others. They seek every avenue and opportunity to sell their idea, vision and ambition to everyone they meet. They are passionate about including others – getting them involved and securing buy in.

4. SEE BEYOUND YOUR MENTOR – Great leaders usually have more than one mentor. They hardly want to be like any of their mentors, they actually have dreams bigger than any achieved by their mentors. They pick the strength in every mentor they have, add it to theirs and build a dream much greater than that of the mentors. Great leaders don’t want to be a copy of a revealed glory, they want to reveal their own glory. Great leaders dream beyond their mentors.

5. HAVE DEEP CONVICTIONS – Great leaders are not superficial in life. They are deeply convinced about what they want and are willing to die for that which they believe. Opposition will come, challenges, betrayal, tough times, oppression, loneliness and even rejection. Great leaders never give up. They die there; they are not cowards, they don’t let go of their dreams.

6. HAVE ETERNAL VALUES – Great leaders see beyond this life. They see beyond earthly rewards, they are mostly driven by eternal values. They fear their maker, they know they are accountable on judgment day, they believe they are on assignment and they fear God more than they fear man. Great leaders do things more because of God than because of man. They have eternal values.

Ladies and gentlemen, all the young people in the house this morning, enough criticism, judging, complaining and lamenting about leadership. It’s time you shift your grounds, don’t just talk, become a great leader too, apply all you need, be a leader too, let’s fix these problems, let’s take responsibility.

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THE RACE IS ON.

What kind of athlete, what kind of runner will begin to put on his kit, exercise his limbs, apply his balm, and stretch his muscles when the blast off shot has already being fired. I can’t believe any runner who values his race, knows the purpose of his race and wants to win will still be asking race officials questions about other contestants, who they are, their names, where they came from, their history, their backgrounds; their potentials and how wealthy they are when the race is already on.

Why would any racer start questioning the rules of the race, the direction of the race, the length of the race, the weather, the quality of officials, the integrity of organizers and  the authenticity of the reward when the race is already on?

How would any racer compete to win without a clear sense and knowledge of direction, destination, and tenacity required to run and win a marathon?

Unfortunately, this is how most of us are in life! Ladies and gentlemen, the race is on! The race of your life has long begun, just think of today’s date, how far we’ve come this year and how long we have left and by yourself evaluate how well you’ve competed in the race of this year.

More still, think of your life, your age, how long you’ve lived and how much energetic time you have left and judge for yourself if you’ve keenly participated in this race of life! Yes, you’re in the race of life.

A race is a contest, a competition for a reward not meant for all runners but the winners of the race. The world is a tournament arena, we’re all in the race of life, competing and contesting for the resources needed to thrive, survive and achieve greatness in this life.

The fact you’re participating does not mean you’re truly partaking. Being drawn to contest is different from getting involved in the contest. Are you running your race or you’re busy discussing, analyzing and reviewing the profile of other runners. You want to know their history, and their details, you’re checking out their lovely kit and coveting their lanes, and you wish you were running on their lane and wearing what their wearing, yes, you are, you want their kind of houses, their kind of cars, their kind of shoes, their kind of money, their kind of lifestyles, and every move you make and decision you take is based on what other runners in life have and are doing. Your mind is filled more with the thought about other racers and you hardly have time to focus and think about how to win your own race in flying colours.

Are you running your race or busy complaining about the terrane, the officials, the weather, the distance and how everything is not good enough for you to compete, yes, you are, your daily thoughts and lamentation is about the infrastructure, the policies, the government, the politics, ethnicity, tribalism, favoritism, inflation, foreign exchange, your industry, your employer, your salary, and how other marathons are easier and better organized – how other countries are superior and better organized.

Dear friend, the contest is not about the best critic of the race in terms of officials and organization, there are no medals or reward for the critics; the winners of the race are those who keep running despite the limitations, obstacles, challenges and even unfair play. To stop your race and criticize officials is to get disqualified, there is a time to run and a time to criticize, don’t mix up these timings, when you arrive a champion, your voice will be heard, run when you should be running, be wise.

The thrill and purpose of any race is to outdo other runners within similar constrains, limitations and timing. Your winning lies in handling challenges, limitations, obstacles and pressures better than other racers.  Even when the game appears unfair, win first, then your complaint will have credibility. Walking out on any game due to perceived cheating will get you disqualified and even penalized by the organizers, but when you win, they will listen to your petition.

To halt your race and pause your life based on perceived ethnic, tribal or social injustice weakens your position and power to influence and transform things ultimately, as you would lack the credibility champions naturally possess to enforce real change. If you complain as one who abandoned a game, it will be assumed it’s because you were losing and they’ll see you as a sore looser rather than a true advocate of improvement and genuine progress.

It’s okay to criticize and condemn what is wrong and unacceptable in the society, but not at the expense of your personal progress and success in life.

Ladies and gentlemen, this race of life is an opportunity to test your true potentials and capacities, hence the desire and thinking that the real potentials and opportunities in life should shrink and conform to your comfortable ability is flawed. Life will not shrink, life will not conform to suit you; you are the one to stretch. You should stretch your imaginations, stretch your skills, your capacities and knowledge so as to outdo others in this race of life.

As you run the race will sure get tougher and tougher, you hence must become stronger and stronger. Life does not spare or forgive losers in this game of life, life punishes its losers hence it is dangerous to opt out of this race.

If you’ve lost the essence, the value, the direction and value of the race, it’ll be wise to quickly do the following today:

1. REDEFINE AND CLARIFY YOUR DIRECTION IN LIFE. – Where are you going, how do you want to get there
2. REDEFINE YOUR DESTINATION – Where exactly is your destination? When will you stop running, at what age, at what time? Or you want to keep running till you die? When is your day of rest? When will you breast the tape?
3. STOP FEELING LIKE A VICTIM – In most games cheating is common, there’s hardly a fair game especially when opponents and officials are threatened by your potentials and possibilities. True champions are those that win games when officials are unfair to them. Endure hardship, don’t be emotional, stay focused and win.
4. ACQUIRE NEEDED RESOURCES – To win this game you need funding and people. Hard as it may, you must let go of all the nice people in your life leading you down the path of failure. You must connect with people who will push and inspire you to superlative success. Acquire needed material and human resource to finish your race well, strong and in one piece.
5. REDEEM THE TIME – Dear friend, you don’t have time. The older you get, the lower your energy, don’t start what you should have started at 30 at age 50, you’d struggle to do very well at it. It’s unwise to still be paying school fees at 70. And it’s perhaps much more difficult to start a business at 50. It’s never too late though, but being on time is of great advantage.

Ladies and gentlemen, the race is on, the time is running, others are competing with you for power, resources, relevance, affluence and freedom. If you don’t run well, if you don’t run to win, you’ll become a victim and a slave to vile and mean winners. Don’t let the selfish and insensitive become champions over you in life, to set yourself and your nation free, win your own race.

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