10 Tips To Get Through Anxiety

Getting through your daily schedule can be a stressful affair. Whether it’s about meeting deadlines or dealing with conflict, stress often builds up and it might cause anxiety which gives you knots in your stomach that could totally kill your confidence. Fear and anxiety are natural and adaptive responses to stressors. Fear is a reaction to a present danger in the environment, while anxiety refers to the anticipation of some potential threat in the future. These feelings occur when your mind perceives a threat. The problem is that your mind cannot differentiate between real and imagined threats.

Everyone goes through stressful times, but in order to avoid panic attacks, it’s important to consider your mental and emotional wellbeing every step of the way. Here are a few tips to help you get by.

1. Exercise always helps
There’s a lot of breathing and meditation involved when you’re exercising. It helps you take your mind off your troubles for a few minutes and keeps you occupied with your own space, allowing you to focus on the present. In the past few decades, research has suggested that exercise is even more effective than medication. If you’re not exercising then it helps to practice regular breathing exercises.

2. Engage in problem-solving
Identify aspects in your life that cause you to build up stress and try to find solutions to situations, which you have possible control over.

3. Accept negative feelings
Not everything will work out as planned, so you need to accept and acknowledge your feelings and find a way to express them through journalling or speaking about them to a friend. It’s important to build trusted relationships so you can always have people to confide in when you feel panicked or isolated.

4. Schedule rest breaks
If your job requires regular deadlines, you should take a few minutes to process your feelings. Imagination is key, use it to your advantage and put yourself in a relaxing place for a couple of minutes.

5. Engage in pleasurable activities
It often helps to spend a bit of time in the day when you’re not relaxing, to catch up on an episode of your favourite series or listen to some soothing music just before bed.

6. Get plenty of sleep
Aim for at least seven to eight hours of sleep, as your brain will deal better with stress and anxiety. A study from the University of Pennsylvania showed that losing just a few hours of sleep increases feelings of stress, anger, sadness, and exhaustion.

7. Look back at other stressful times
Stress is a daily struggle, so sometimes it’s necessary to reflect on past stressors and remind yourself that stressful periods are temporary and will pass.

8. Check your diet
What we eat and drink generally impacts our emotional state. Usually, foods associated with exacerbating anxiety are ones containing caffeine and alcohol. Even consumed in small amounts, studies have found that the stimulating effects of caffeine can cause anxiety, trigger panic attacks, and increase feelings of nervousness and irritability.

9. Avoid moping
Getting though anxiety requires action. While spending time alone with your own thoughts can be nice once in a while, try not to have negative thoughts as they are most harmful when you have anxiety.

10. Talk to yourself positively
Affirm positivity, it’s imperative to practice reassuring and realistic self-talk. When anxious, practice self-talk phrases such as: “I am safe right now” and “I will get through this”. It will go a long way.

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DESTINY DISORDERS

A disorder is a state of mess, disarray, disorganization, confusion and chaos. Unfortunately, this describes perfectly the state of affairs in the lives of many Nigerians today.

Many of us have no charge or control over our lives. We are not free, our progress, advancement, peace, joy, comfort, convenience are not within our control. We can’t decide what we want, how we want it and when we want it. Most of us have given up on our dreams, our wonderful and inspiring childhood dreams are dead and today, we live our daily life as it comes not as we wish for it or desire it.

We’ve developed the required coping mechanism to remain alive and satisfied in mediocrity and smallness.

We are no longer great dreamers, great achievers, or passionate in the pursuit of goals and purpose. We hold people, institutions, employers, the government and even God responsible for our crisis, shortcomings and chaos. We look at life from a malevolent point of view. Hmm.

Many of us plunged into this state in life based on misinformation and misdirection. We perhaps took advice and counsel from people who really don’t know what they’re talking about. I read a post recently that it is dangerous to accept a gift of clothing from a naked man. How true.

In frequent interactions with some members of my business academy, I’ve come to see how many were misled by teachings of people who lack the educational and experiential qualification to guide and advice on critical business matters. They respected these teachers and in some cases trusted them based on wrong perceptions and it eventually cost them greatly.

One of the major flaw I’ve detected in the advice offered by most so called expert when it comes to business or even career is the exaggerated place of passion as a requirement for success. You can be extremely passionate about something, love it to pieces and seriously want to do and still fail woefully at it, because passion is not ability. And you may not even be excited about something initially or be interested in it but once you start off on it, you begin to develop a strong liking for it, passion for it begins to grow. I never had any interest or passion for public speaking before I started but afterwards, I began to like it.                                                                                                               

It is possible to love something be passionate about it and desire it so much, yet fail at it because:

1. You are not gifted at it. You may love to do something but you’re not naturally gifted or talented at it. I don’t think Mike Tyson would have done very well as the king of pop music, and I don’t think Michael Jackson would have survive in any boxing ring to enjoy a successful boxing career. For passion to apply, you need natural talent.
2. You are not ready for it. Anything you attempt prematurely no matter the passion will likely fail. I don’t think it’s bright for any fresh graduate to go into self-employment straight without at least five years working for someone or another organization before venturing. Familiarity with process and standard practice is key for passion to birth success.
3. You’re not trained for it. If you lack the requisite skills to do something excellently, no matter the passion, you’re likely going to fail at it. Excellence and productivity are outcomes of good training, not just passion.
4. You’re not educated at it. Your intellectual capacity and prowess at a venture is very key to success, if you lack knowledge and know how, passion can’t make up for it.
5. You lack the experience. Every business, career, project or venture has got its success secret. No one will tell you this and you can’t discover it until you serve someone who’s already in it. Inconsistencies and life dynamics makes experience imperative for success. Passion can never replace experience.

Dear friend, you’re perhaps unhappy, discouraged and confused today because you jumped into something you really loved based on passion and you failed woefully at it. Not really knowing why you failed, your mind and uninformed feedback began to conjure all kinds of reasons and possibilities for your failure.

Worst still, you see, every day, people succeeding and doing so greatly at what you love to do also, but failed at, hence jealousy, envy and strife took over your mind. You began to scheme on how to pull down that person, not because he or she’s done you any wrong, but you can’t just handle your own surprise failure.

Sadly, this has made vile many destinies in life and many lives today are filled with confusion, chaos, frustration, crisis and bitterness. Many have further plunged down to a malevolent world view.

A malevolent world view makes you negative and cynical about everything in life. You’ll always look for the worst in people and situations. You’ll lose your self-esteem and self-worth, you would seize to like yourself hence, won’t be able to like anyone especially those you perceived as undeservingly successful. You’ll wake up daily and see problems everywhere, you’ll see injustice, oppression, unfairness, inequality in income and status everywhere. No situation would be satisfactory to you, nothing will ever be good enough, you’ll never acknowledge any improvement, something will always be wrong – hmmm, a malevolent world view. Dear friend, it’s a dangerous view to embrace.

It’s time to get rid of the crisis, the chaos, the confusion, the mess and the frustration you’re perhaps confronting every day in your life. The good, bad and ugly in life and in Nigeria have always been and will remain forever as long as we remain imperfect human beings, so get real. It’s time you adopt and embrace a benevolent perspective, a positive, happy and fulfilling perspective of life.

Stop trying to control everything and everybody, this will make you perpetually unhappy. You can make known your grievance, disappointment and hurt, even strongly when necessary, but leave people to make their decisions. Don’t be offended if they choose to ignore you and your counsel. Its time you focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Create your happiness by re-opening the file on your dream, asking yourself sincerely why you failed. Was it lack of talent, experience, education? Was it immaturity, impatience, wrong advice or hasty gratification? Its time you again, define yourself and define your success type; don’t be distracted by anyone either the succeeding or the failing, focus more on your own matter. Start creating your own dream life, secure a release from your ultra-high expectations from the government, your employer, your parents, friends, rich associates and other people. Expectations hurt, people don’t. Do it yourself, build your own life by yourself, what you could then discover is,  your help might come faster and easier from strangers than those who know you,  as strangers are not in social or income rivalry with you. Give your dream-life a positive direction, bury your past disappointments and favorite excuses permanently, it is time to fix your life!  Dear friend, reorder your destiny, become a happy person.

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GET THE UNDERSTANDING OF SOWING AND REAPING

One of the most powerful laws in life is the law of sowing and reaping. Sowing and reaping is the key to productivity, increase and continuity.

For anything to remain alive, relevant and progressive, the law of sowing and reaping must be applied.

Every single plant continues to exist on the account of planting its seed in the right environment and soil and after a while, Mother Nature will see to its growth, development and the ability to yield fruits and seeds after its own kind as well. The seed from this new plant is subsequently plant as well in the right environment and soil, hence it will after a while grow, bear fruits and produce seeds after its kind.

The law of sowing and reaping is the key to multiplication. It’s a powerful, universal and basic law.

Mankind for many years now have also realized this law of sowing and reaping does not only apply in physical reproduction but also in behavioral concepts. The law of karma is simply about sowing and reaping. It means whatever you do, there are repercussions. It’s also expressed in the law of cause and effect, and the law of action and reaction. It means everything we do is a seed with the potential for growth and reward either positive or negative.

Having this in mind and being conscious of the efficacy of this law, it simply means your success, prosperity, increase and wealth creation has its powers in the law of sowing and reaping. The law makes clear that whatsoever a man sows, same shall he reap. Two words are powerful here, first is WHATSOEVER, the second is SAME!

Paying attention to the word WHATSOEVER makes very clear the fact that there is no restriction or limitation to what has the power or potential to grow. Anything and everything can grow. Everything you sow will return to you, everything you do will return to you, either good, bad or ugly. WHATSOEVER is WHATSOEVER! This powerful realization could simply be a pointer to the fact that perhaps most of our problems and difficulties in life today, are not incidences or coincidences but repercussions, consequences and harvest of everything in every way! It throws light on the fact that as humans, we consequently experience anything we do or release into a very fertile world either good or bad.

The second powerful word is the word SAME. SAME is SAME. Looking at the law of sowing and reaping from the physical perspective, you naturally expect harvest on the exact kind of seeds you sow, not a different type. This is scary in that it could imply anything you’re doing today especially the bad, wicked and evil ones are waiting for you in your future! Perhaps if you really check your past, a year ago, ten years ago, 20 years ago, you did something to someone or you caused someone to experience that, which has now returned to you and you’re currently experiencing. If not you, perhaps your parents or grandparents did it. Please be aware, DNA is recognized by Mother Nature, hence if the sowing and reaping season, growth and maturity period for anything done by your parents or grandparents is much longer than their lifespan, Mother Nature will return it to you as their offspring – as a carrier of their DNA through DNA recognition. This is because the dead can’t reap. This I believe should naturally put an end to the question of God why me?

A little over a year ago, when these powerful words, whatsoever and same jumped at me when I was studying, I then realized all I had or was experiencing in my life were consequences and returns on the kind of seed I was mostly sowing.

I then began to think back and realized with excitement that it was the truth!

Perhaps there are some of you out there questioning right now, the efficacy of this law in your lives. You’re perhaps wondering why you’ve sown so much in cash and material things, kindness and good gestures yet have little or nothing to show.

If you want this law to work for you, there are three key factors you need to consider. These are common sense factors many have ignored. I call them common sense factors because it applies to the obvious law of sowing natural grains or seeds too. They are as follows:

1. Sow what you want to reap. Many of us don’t really think about this. It is what you sow, that you will reap, not what you expect. If you want clothes, sow clothes, if you want food, sow food, if you want good health, sow medication. If you want knowledge, teach others, pay school fees, buy books, sponsor students; donate to schools, earning centers and award scholarships. If you want something, don’t just sow cash, Money is not a seed, money is a spirit; the spirit of money powers the law of sowing, reaping and increase.  If you sow cash, you can’t reap cash, money itself lacks the capacity for growth; it only fuels growth. Fertilizers don’t grow, they fuel growth. It is actually what you put the cash into that will return to you. Let me make this clear, if you want to reap tomatoes, you don’t sow just fertilizer, you purchase tomato seeds with cash and sow tomato seeds, or you invest that money in existing tomato farm business to harvest tomato. Sow what you want to reap or sow into what you want to reap.
2. Your seed quality – The quality of your seed is simply about its source. If the money used to purchase what you want to sow is stolen or diverted for example, you will ultimately harvest the problem that money was meant to solve in the first place. Bad seeds yield bad harvest. If you steal, embezzle or divert money meant to purchase drugs for people in the hospital for example, no matter where you sow it into, even if it is a religious project, your ultimate harvest will be sickness and disease. The power of SAME is in the seed not in the soil.

3. Now let’s talk about Your soil

The soil you sow a seed into is very important. A good seed will never grow in a bad soil. A fertile soil is necessary for good growth and bountiful harvest. I’ve heard many people say stuff like I’m not bothered about what they use the money for, God sees my heart that I’ve given, how foolish. How can a farmer or sower not care about the soil, how can a good sower not mind if the seeds fall by the way side, on the rock, amongst thorns or on good ground? Many remain pathetically broke today wasting their good seeds in bad soils. The best soil ever, recognized by humanity and divinity with the capacity to yield in hundreds of fold, is in the lives of orphans, widows, the poor, the hungry, the sick, the displaced, the homeless and less privileged. That’s why billionaires all over the world donate to charity, they understand and respect the law! It makes them wealthier!

Let me shock you with this secret, to become a multi-millionaire or even a billionaire in this life, you don’t work for it, you can’t even work hard enough for it, you don’t have the required energy and time to achieve this feat, to become one, you sow for it.

Ladies and gentlemen, every activity we carryout daily is a form of seed we’re sowing in one way or another and we shall consequently reap everything in one way or another. Dear friend, Sow wisely.

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IN YOUR LIFETIME IS ALL ABOUT WHAT?

As a media entrepreneur I have reasons to spend a lot of time on the internet, on social media specifically. Having contacts and connections numbering tens of thousands I’m daily exposed to many people with opinions, expressions and comments on different issues, topics, developments, events and occurrences as they unfold in our country.

Lately I began to worry about the amount of productive time many people spend on social media sharing their opinions, complaining, lamenting and criticizing different people and different situations. More worrisome is the huge knowledge gap this interaction tends to expose as it has become glaring the high level of ignorance we’re confronted with, especially the youth.

Many have no clue how things really run, they do not understand nationhood, citizenship, rule of law, tiers of government and their roles, balance of powers, public policy, international relations, ethics, morals or acceptable levels of rights and infringements.

Unfortunately the most ignorant ones appear to be the prominent and notorious cyber bullies. They criticize, insult, curse, mock and even threaten anyone with a superior opinion.

I worry about how much time many people spend on social media without adding value to the society or getting paid for time spent online. I then also worry about how many really think one day this country will become so perfect and all our problems will disappear.

Ladies and gentlemen, it will never happen. As long as nations are occupied and governed by human beings, a perfect state of national life remains an illusion. Yes, the state of our nation today leaves so much to be desired, but I assure you agitations, aspirations, complains, and dissatisfaction remains with us forever.

This is because the world is designed to keep improving and progressing, and what we see as the standard or the perfect today in a few decades or fewer years will become obsolete or substandard, hence, a clamor for upgrade and improvements will forever remain with us.

As important and appropriate as it is to put the required pressure on leadership to do what is right, waiting and expecting them to create for you a perfect environment or condition for you to live a great and fulfilled life is a mirage, it will never happen. No nation in the world is perfect!

Being successful in life is an individual responsibility and has little to do with the activities of the government. The participation for resource acquisition and management is everyone’s business. No one will work hard and subsequently deliver all the proceeds in your backyard.                                    

If you see things as bad now, it applies to all and when things improve drastically, it improves for everyone in the country, hence we all still have a level playing field to compete and contest for resources, power and control weather in our current state as a nation or an improved state of the nation.

The agitation for restructuring and devolution of power weather it sees the light of day or not may not favor you as an individual simply because no matter how perfect a structure is, it is the management of the structure that make it work of fail.

I think if resource control is tilted more to the regions, the agitations and perceived marginalization may not end, it will only be transferred to the level of regions as there will still be the rife issues of greed, corruption, discrimination, injustice and all the labels borne by the current structure at the regional levels too, why, because whatever the structure is, it is the quality of the managers of the structures that matter the most.

Why share this opinion you may wonder this morning, all I’m trying to make you understand is, there is a difference between your personal success and a national success. You can fail in a succeeding nation and you can succeed in a struggling nation.

Listen to me dear friends, it is impossible for the activities of any single leader or a government to create an irrefutable perfect situation or future for any nation. The sacrifice of Nelson Mandela did not deliver a perfect South African nation, many South Africans are still poor and needy till today. The sacrifice of Martin Luther king, who in fact, gave his life did not create a perfect future for the African Americas in the US, many of them are still broke, burdened, distressed, confused and clueless.

To think a leader, a party, a movement even if they’re sincere, honest; incorruptible and sacrificing are the answers to your personal problems, challenges, limitations and poverty is a misconception.

So I find the idea of wasting several hours on social media raining curses on anyone a misplacement of priority.

Dear friend, what are you doing with your own life today? It is your life, it is your life, it is your life. Only you can fix it, mend it, improve it and make it great. No one can help you if you wouldn’t help yourself. You can blame everyone and anyone, it’s your right to express your feelings and no one would stop you, but how will your seemingly genuine excuses and blame game make your personal life great or glorious?

Don’t you know that champions are not those who recline and shy away from tough times, tough situations and tough responsibilities? Real champions confront their problems, challenges, detractors and oppositions and triumph. Champions don’t complain, champions win.

There is a champion in you my dear friend. It is time to get up, grow up and show up at the place of your duty and destiny in life. You have prioritized your comfort zone over your destiny call for far too long.

It is time to take on your battles one after another and win each and every one of them. It is time to defeat all confrontations and oppositions. Look all your problems eye ball to eyeball and sentence them all to extinction.

It is time to take tough decisions on yourself and your life. It is time to return to school, your age notwithstanding, it is time to start that business despite your fears and anxiety, it is time you stand up to that domestic oppressor and subjugator of greatness and glory in the name of marriage. It is time you escape from the trap of that religious or spiritual bully and scammer.

It is time to walk away from good friends going nowhere in life. It is time to live the life you can afford not the life people pressure you to live.  Paying a rent of 8million, 12 million every year that is stretching your finances to pieces doesn’t make sense simply because you want people to believe you can afford an elitist neighborhood.

It is time you reclaim the control of your life from the wild opinions of friends and family. You don’t need to live a life you can’t truly afford just to impress someone who doesn’t really care about you. Its time you rekindle you vision, your passion, your dreams and excitements in life, even if people around you don’t see it as fancy. If it makes you happy and peaceful, that’s all that matters.

It’s time to walk away from that slavery in that mean workplace you call employment. Its time you build a life that you want, add great value to your nation, leave a good legacy and make sure you fulfil destiny.

There will never be a perfect time or situation in this country for your dreams to come to pass cheaply. Your best time is now. Many people with great dreams and ideas years ago kept waiting for Nigeria to improve and now they’re old, weak and poor and their expectations of a perfect Nigeria has been dashed.

Make this your life count, if your maker made this nation and time your own season to come into the world and manifest, He has already put in you what you need to handle the tough times and difficult situations in your era.

Stop wasting your time and hours complaining, criticizing, fighting, cursing and waiting, you may wait all your life I tell you. Whatever you need to do, do it now. This your life; own it completely and make it count. The whole creation is waiting for you to manifest, don’t be sloppy with your life, manifest now!

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